Helping Couples Get Past the Affair

It is wonderful to have a practical book addressing the dark shadow in many couple relationships. Baucom, Snyder, and Gordon are an incredibly strong team of clinician-researchers, and this book distills their collective experience into a very useful guide. As the authors point out, the discovery of infidelity is often traumatic, and managing the effects of this trauma is critical to providing effective assistance. Couple therapists of all persuasions will want this practical volume on their shelves.--W. Kim Halford, PhD, School of Psychology, The University of Queensland, Australia Infidelity can be as overwhelming to the clinician as it is to the couple. Baucom et al. lucidly explain how to guide clients through this tumultuous issue to a stronger and more authentic relationship. Informed by the authors' considerable clinical wisdom, this book is a 'must-have' for clinicians who work with couples.--Valerie E. Whiffen, PhD, private practice, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada A groundbreaking book. We have long known that traditional couple therapy models are not applicable to treating couples who experience infidelity. Baucom et al. offer a revolutionary approach in which infidelity is conceptualized as a traumatic event, yet they are able to facilitate empathy for both parties. This is a delicate balance, and the authors manage it brilliantly. I have already begun using this therapy model in my private practice and teaching it to my clinical psychology graduate students, with wonderful results.--Erika Lawrence, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Iowa This book offers a lucid, fascinating, and much-needed map to the difficult terrain of affairs: how they occur and how to deal with them. It is comprehensive and full of clinical examples. Clinicians everywhere will find this book invaluable.--Susan M. Johnson, EdD, School of Psychology, University of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada This is a major contribution to the literature on treatment of infidelity and a book that all couple therapists should read. Infidelity is one of the most challenging presenting problems for even the most seasoned clinician. This treatment guide stands alone or can be used in conjunction with the authors excellent self-help book for couples, Getting Past the Affair. Integrating cognitive-behavioral, systems, and insight-oriented theoretical models, the approach is highly relevant for a wide range of therapists. In addition, the extensive session vignettes, chapter summaries, and clear writing make this a great resource for graduate courses in couple therapy.--Norman B. Epstein, PhD, Department of Family Science, University of Maryland, College Park What I love about this book is how close it stays to the ground in offering therapists a series of practical steps for working with couples traumatized by an affair. The authors draw on extensive clinical experience and research to present a three-stage model that addresses 'impact,' 'meaning,' and 'moving on.' With its sensible framework and creative techniques, this book is an ideal resource for both beginning and veteran couple therapists. I know it will be an invaluable addition to my practice toolkit.--Jefferson A. Singer, PhD, Department of Psychology, Connecticut College Baucom, Snyder, and Gordon have established themselves as leaders in the field of infidelity research and treatment. Based on sound theory and accumulating evidence, this book is a clear-headed, compassionate guide for working with the volatile emotional issue of infidelity.--Andrew Christensen, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of California, Los Angeles - It is well laid out, taking the reader through the processes required to work with couples in a step-by-step approach. It is down to earth, acknowledging the difficulties that can be experienced in this area of work, and the helplessness that the therapist can feel....The book provides guidance for

Donald H. Baucom, PhD, is Richard Lee Simpson Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. His research focuses on couples and marriage. Through his approximately 175 publications, Dr. Baucom has helped to shape an understanding of the role of cognitions in intimate relationships, which has contributed to the development of cognitive-behavioral couple therapy. An award-winning researcher, teacher, speaker, and mentor, he maintains an active clinical practice working with couples and individuals around relationship difficulties. Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, LMFT, is Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Texas A&M University, where he also served as Director of Clinical Training for 20 years. Dr. Snyder has engaged in clinical practice and training of couple therapists since the 1970s, and is a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). He is coauthor or coeditor of several books for mental health professionals and general readers. Dr. Snyder has served as editor of the Clinicians Research Digest and as associate editor of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology and the Journal of Family Psychology. He is a recipient of the Distinguished Contribution to Research in Family Therapy Award from AAMFT, the Distinguished Contribution to Family Psychology Award from the American Psychological Association (APA) Division 43 (Society for Couple and Family Psychology), and the Distinguished Psychologist Award from APA Division 29 (Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy). Kristina Coop Gordon, PhD, is Associate Dean of Academic Affairs and Engagement in the College of Education, Health, and Human Sciences at the University of Tennessee. She previously served as a College of Arts and Sciences Excellence Professor and Director of Clinical Training in the Department of Psychology. Dr Gordon has received university-level awards for both her scholarship and her teaching. She is a Fellow of the Society for Couple and Family Psychology, Division 43 of the the American Psychological Association, and served as President and Council Representative for that Division. She serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Family Psychology, Family Process, and Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. In addition to Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition (for general readers), Dr. Gordon is coauthor of Helping Couples Get Past the Affair (for mental health professionals). She has a private practice specializing in couple therapy in Knoxville, Tennessee.

I. Preparing for Treatment 1. Conceptualizing an Integrative Treatment for Affair Couples 2. Initial Assessment and Formulation 3. Creating a Therapeutic Environment II. Stage 1 of Treatment 4. Damage Control 5. Restoring Equilibrium 6. Addressing Emotional Upheaval III. Stage 2 of Treatment 7. Preparing the Couple to Examine Contributing Factors 8. Examining Relationship Factors 9. Examining Outside Factors 10. Examining Individual Partner Factors 11. Complex Affairs 12. Tying It All Together: Creating a Formulation of How the Affair Occurred IV. Stage 3 of Treatment 13. Addressing Issues of Forgiveness and Barriers to Moving Forward 14. Moving Forward 15. Concluding Comments